Okay, I just found one the funniest recipes ever. Seriously. I don't know if I'll make it but I can't seem to stop reading it! Here it is...
Belgian Safehouse Drunken Applesauce
40 min 15 min prep
Upon arriving in Belgium you might think "AHH safety, finally I'm in an allied nation"..WRONG!!! Belgium is CRAWLING with red spies. You're walking down the street thinking...Hmm, maybe I'll grab some mussels and a beer then take in a nice marionette show. Then while you're in the theater BAM...Abe Lincoln style. Anyway...In the Autumn in Belgium after the apple harvest there are always a bunch of apples not fit for eating out of hand...but when you're holed up in a safehouse, you have to stretch everything to make ends meet. Maybe you didn't finish you beer last night, but you can't imagine drinking it...well here's a use for it. I like this with very oniony pork chops. the savory from the caramelized on ions, the saltiness of the pork and the sweetness of the applesauce is absolutely perfect.
SERVES 12 , 8 cups
8 apples (I used 5 cortland, 2 empire, 1 granny smith)
1 cup flavorful beer (I used Duvel, don't use something too sweet)
1/2 cup packed dark brown sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1Easy -- peel, core, cut apples into big chunks. Combine everything in a large heavy sauce pot in whatever order you choose. Bring to a boil, cover and reduce to simmer for 15 minutes. If you don't cover it the communists will find you, steal your applesauce, and probably kill you so yeah, cover, don't cover -- your choice in the end.
2Uncover, mash carefully , return to heat if it's still a little loose.
3Keep in refrigerator under lock and key, otherwise you know who will steal, or poison it.
4The beer -- Again, this is your choice, but your favorite beer may not be the right beer. You want something that has SOME hops in it, otherwise the malt will make the applesauce TOO sweet and cloying. I wouldn't get anything spiced like a pumpkin or holiday ale, because the spices in the beer may not play well with the spices in the apple sauce -- Really Duvel is perfect -- It is a "Belgian Golden Ale" -- there are others. Also an Imperial Pilsner might work as well -- Don't bother using Bud or a light beer -- you may as well use water.
Are you laughing? I am so laughing again. Thinking about throwing a dinner party and serving only food from Communist countries, or that have the theme. A "Communist Party", get it? after all..... I do look damn good in red!
If anyone tries this let me know how it comes out.
..... I think I hear the NSA sneaking up to my window now....