the day my world tried to fall apart

I can barely see straight as I write this. Everytime I turn my head everything has a trail, my hands look like an old school 3-D image, just without the nifty glasses. I can't ever remember being this tired. Ever.

Sunday night my husband complained of pain in his side and back. He's had it before, a few hours go by and it goes away on its own. We figured it was his gallbladder, he had the right symptoms but I never could get him to go to a doctor. This past Sunday night the pain didn't go away, it just got worse, when dinner came back up I decided it was time to go to the hospital.

10pm on a Sunday night the ER was actually really quiet. For being so quiet though he still had to wait in a wheelchair for almost an hour, in pain, while they sorted him out. We're sorry, doesn't look like your gallbladder, BUT we think you have kidney stones, have a shot of this medicine and you should start to feel better in about 10 minutes.


Once he got a tiny ER room and some morphine, he could finally sleep, but this was after 11pm. That's 6 solid hours of crippling pain before morphine. And over 9 more hours of waiting for a room in the hospital to open up. I sat up, those 9 hours more or less alone, in a dark, quiet ER room with my drugged up husband, not knowing what was happening. Several random ER doctors and a few tests later we still knew nothing. "You have to wait for the surgeon."

Wait. What? The surgeon?
Who called a surgeon?!?

We eventually made it upstairs, to the SURGICAL FLOOR, at around 8:45am. You know when you are so thirsty you feel like you would commit hary cary just for some water? My husband was feeling that way. No liquids for surgical patients, not even ice.

Surgical patients. *cry*

They wheeling a gurney to just outside his room at about 9:15am and left it there. I made some random joke about how it was for him and we laughed. No surgeon had seen us yet, it couldn't be for him right? RIGHT?


The surgeon showed at about 9:40am and says, "You'll be having your appendix out." I asked when and he says, "It's already on the OR schedule for this morning." ok doc, W H E N?!? "Within the hour." Not in AN hour, within THE hour. THE hour only had 15 minutes left.

*panic* -whilestilllookingcalm-

And then they came to take him away. Just like that. My robustly healthy husband was on his way to emergency surgery. And I was stuck with my in-laws in the waiting room. I think I was barely aware of them, all I had had to eat or drink in 12 hours was a cup of ice chips, 2 cups of water and cup of coffee. By that point I had been up something like 28 hours and would go to 31 before I got a 45 minute nap.

When the surgeon came out he said "Acute Appendicitis" and that everything went perfectly. Apparently the world wasn't going to fall apart. Just me, when I got home, so tired. After I showered and ate....I don't remember what. I slept my 45 minutes and went back to hospital.

Home again, my husband is ALIVE, and will again, someday soon, be robustly, aggressively healthy. But right now it looks like it will be quiet for a while.

I like quiet.
And sleep.


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