too much coffee, weirdness, and a creeper

Where to start? I've had too much coffee today. I think, think, I am at 4 cups. It may be 5. I don't actually remember. I am feeling slightly lightheaded and my hands are all jittery. Making it hard to type so let's hope spellcheck has it's shit together today.
I'm gonna go get another cup of coffee. I'm drinking the last of my columbian cumbre fuerte (which I think loosely translated, means something like 'some strong shit, for serious') which was brought to me from actual Columbia. I just measured how much comfortably fits into my cup (ie: before I slosh it everywhere), 7 ounces. I'm on either my 5th or 6th cup. No milk or sugar. So, according to my calculator because I can't do math right now, that's somewhere between 35 to 42 ounces. In less than 3 hours. That's more than a quart of coffee.
I know? Why didn't I just look on highly accurate cups measure on my pot instead of calculating? Because I use a french press. Which is now almost devoid of coffee. Sad.

On this odd coffee binge I decided cooking was a good idea. Me+fire usually equals Bad Idea. Today it equalled weirdness. I made this: These?

Clockwise, starting at noon (11:45ish) Blueberry Cinnamon Chicken, Bacon Vodka with brown sugar and pepper, Beef with red wine and chocolate, Plain chocolate chicken, Hot chocolate chicken. Oddly, the Vodka Bacon was the best. The plain chocolate didn't really taste like anything. I think with some sugar the blueberry cinnamon may have been decent. The beef didn't come out as well as I had hoped, maybe 1/10th of expectations? Hot chocolate and chicken are an intriguing combination, something was lacking but I am unsure as to what. The bacon vodka was the clear winner. Faintly like chicken cooked in the rendered fat from a single slice of peppered brown sugar bacon. May require some more experimentation.

Last but certainly not least, the Creeper. I went to a small party this Saturday. Had a pretty good time. It was just supposed to be 4 of us, nosh, alcohol, movies and living room camping. It started well enough, for the first hour? Maybe 2? And then the party crashers showed up. Obnoxious neighbors that made me infinitely glad that I did NOT live in that building. I don't remember any of their names,
i didn't then either, so I named them in my head. Tiny Girl in Inexplicable Sunglasses, Idiot Boyfriend with First Person Shooter Game Fixation, Annoyingly Loud and Repetitive Landlady Who is Disproportionately Freaked Out by Lack of At&t Reception, Extra Uninvited Guest of Landlady, and finally, The Creeper.
The hubs and our friend ran out to the car, our host, tiny girl and video game boy were outside smoking, the landlady and uninvited guest were in the kitchen, leaving me in the dining/living room with....the Creeper. I took my glasses off to clean them (he watched the whole time)when I put them back on he said how nice they looked on me. Thank you. "Because you know, not everybody can wear glasses, but yours look really nice. Very pretty." O...kay? Thanks again? THEN "Your hair is really pretty. Such a pretty color, so smooth." Thanks? Ack! "I really like it, it's so pretty." the hubs was gone 5 freaking minutes. I thought at first, maybe just awkwardness? But OMG, for serious? They came back and the 'party' resumed. I tried to stay away from him by he kept hovering like he was in freaking ORBIT. Compliments are always nice, I consider myself average in the looks department. Long dark blonde/light brown hair, blue/gray eyes, short, slightly overweight. I have no delusions about my appearance. Look, here's me.
My hair is blonder here than it is currently, but you get the idea. Also, had trouble finding a photo of me.
Also, feeling slightly coffee woozy and it is almost 5pm. I've been at this since 4pm. You'd think coffee would have made me faster.

Until next time, in the meantime, watch out for Creepers.


what is going on here?

I just tried to log in, well, here, and was told my blog no longer existed. Um, what? Someone is messing with my accounts, here, twitter, lord knows what else, so I have been changing passwords left and right. Who and why? I am not important in any way, I don't think I've pissed anyone off, so what's up universe? Not cool.

I'm working on a present for the hubs birthday and need around $60 more to order it. even if you aren't a facebook friend, enter the code facebookfriend at checkout for 25% off everything. Please help me make this a great birthday for my hubs!

Oohhh, pretties....


like being pooped on by a passing seagull

Went to the doctor today and she added another medicine. ANOTHER PILL EVERYDAY. Blood pressure medicine. Not to lower my bp but to protect my kidneys. My bp is normally about 115/75 Which is absolutely perfect as far as that stuff is concerned. So I got the damn pills and took one tonight. We tested before and around an hour later. 113/70 and 90/60. We had to take it twice because it wouldn't register the first time. Like call two doctors and I can be declared legally dead.
That makes 5 (or 6) pills everyday. 0 to 6 at the speed of freaking light.
As a bonus (a real one) I lost 8 pounds last month.
Yeah me.

If life is a seagull, and I am the innocent bystander, can I feed it some raw rice and alka-seltzer now?


it happend again. cougar dream.


I had another vaguely inappropriate Taylor Lautner/ Jacob Black dream.
Only this time there were several other wolf boys running around in all their shirtless, bronze skinned, muscle-y goodness.

They were competing for my attention and giving me deep dark wolf eye stares. And flexing the muscles. SWEETBABYJANE, flexing the muscles.

I told my husband about the first dream and he laughed at me. It was both awkward and embarrassing. I think I will keep future dreams to myself.

I have decided that being a cougar in my dreams with a fictional (Jacob) character is fine with me. Which means I probably won't ever have another.
Please let there be future dreams.


inappropriate wolf dream

Yes. Highly inappropriate. Cougaresque with the inappropriateness.

I had a dream about Taylor Lautner. A shirtless, bronze skinned, gorgeous- Taylor Lautner.
In case you were wondering, I am 32. Taylor? 19. Nine-freaking-teen.
We were alone is some house I didn't recognize and I told him I thought I was falling in love with him. He got all pissy and asked why I only thought I loved him? Didn't I know? Then he smiled that devastating Jacob Black smile and said he loved me too and we were going to move into our place and get married and be together always. Then he kissed me. (That part could have gone on a bit)
He went upstairs and for some reason there was a hole in the front door glass and a baby bear kept trying to get in and I scaring him back out. I boarded up the glass and ran upstairs. I found him in bed with some girl and they were kissing quite passionately. I asked him how he could do that to me when he just said he loved me and wanted to marry me? He grinned again and said, "It's ok baby, this one's for the road." I was horrified and ran away.

Then I woke up. Confused, a little hurt and slightly horrified that I was having romantic dreams about a 19 year old actor.

I will admit to being Team Jacob.
I will admit that dreaming about him again might not be quite as reprehensible as it felt the first time.
I will (grudgingly) admit that I have a rather unhealthy desire to, er, lick those abs.

I guess to be fair to my psyche, I was dreaming about Jacob Black, not Taylor Lautner.

That makes it ok right? RIGHT?