like being pooped on by a passing seagull

Went to the doctor today and she added another medicine. ANOTHER PILL EVERYDAY. Blood pressure medicine. Not to lower my bp but to protect my kidneys. My bp is normally about 115/75 Which is absolutely perfect as far as that stuff is concerned. So I got the damn pills and took one tonight. We tested before and around an hour later. 113/70 and 90/60. We had to take it twice because it wouldn't register the first time. Like call two doctors and I can be declared legally dead.
That makes 5 (or 6) pills everyday. 0 to 6 at the speed of freaking light.
As a bonus (a real one) I lost 8 pounds last month.
Yeah me.

If life is a seagull, and I am the innocent bystander, can I feed it some raw rice and alka-seltzer now?

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